Nigeria don't fail me

Have I possibly lost faith in my plan to move to Nigeria? It seems that in the past month, people and situations have been trying to disuade me from moving there. I spoke to one older Nigerian who said...

Naija is tough! dont trust Naijas! They will lead you on! They will ask u to
bring your ideas then steal them. You are too soft for Naija. You are too nice
for naija. They will eat you alive. Naija is no place for a woman!

After all that! I was so discouraged. But in teh back of my mind I'm thinking.. Nigeria has so many opportunities, it just matters your strategy. This person has had bad experiences, but will I? I'm young enough to take risks, and reap rewards. I can fail 20 times in you young life going after big things because if one pans out, I may do really well. This elder does not have that luxury...








That was chip number 1.





Chip number 2 came when I was speaking to a so-called mentor... someone I thought was there to hear my ideas and help me launch them forward. After praising the idea and telling me it will pan out, I hear,

Oh you can never do that project. 6 people r doing it. you have neither the
resources or connections to get it. You are not even in the game

OMG! so after talking to a friend, then warned me that this person might want to do the project or give the project to their child. Or that they just might not want to see you succeed, or maybe want you to cut them in on the deal. It's amazing how people close to you may not be what you think they are.

The chips may cause a crack pretty soon.... but for now, my armor is still solid. I have faith in my mission!!!! Operation Gidi Bound!!!!

After all there so many things to lure you home such as....

www.bellanaija.com

www.lindaikeji.blogspot.com

http://tttfoto.blogspot.com/

http://naijablog.blogspot.com/

http://aramide.blogspot.com/

http://www.ecwaevangel.org/blog/

Let me know what you think of your experiences with returning to Nigeria, Moving to Nigeria for first time, or if you are planning to move to Naija or planned, but backed out.

Update...Cruiseships, freightships, r-ships

So funny that after my R-ship post, I was on facebook today and see this video circulating. I really am feeling in agreement with what this guy has to say. Let me know what you think

MNIA Pics

A day in LA!!!
Was really fun!

Cruiseships, Freightships, R-ships

So i didn't really think I would take this blog to this level, but I think I give myself permission to go there! Go WHERE? R-ships... they sometimes lead you no-where, they sometimes take you everywhere, but you want to get on the one that takes you to the right place. I did't think I wanted to talk about relationships because this is a public blog and people who read it pretty much know who I am... But a the end of the day, I really dont care.

Going back to R-ships. I love thinking of words, deconstructing it, and rethinking it. Relation SHIP... R-ship. Its such a fitting name. R-ships are a vessel that navigate you through interactions with people. They can sink, they can float, they can go fast, or be a loooooooong ride. they can be rocky, or steady. you do the wrong thing and you will ROCK the BOAT. They come in all shapes and sizes. and as i said, at some point you start to look for one that is taking you in the right direction.

For me, I've had good and bad experiences with R-ships, but what I noticed most was that they have all taught me a great lesson and about myself. I'm sure you're expecting me to say I have learned something noble like XYZ, but what I really learned was that I'm still really not ready for one. I'm still really selfish, needy, attention seeking, etc. I'm still not emotionally advanced. I still react to my life long baggage. I still really have a short attention span, am aggressive(which people say is bad for a woman to be), am dominating (again supposedly bad for a woman to be), and I love they way I am. Of course I have really positive characteristics too... so i've heard... so I wont toot my own horn.

Anyway, I have so many things I want to accomplish and only ever met ONE man that could have ever possibly put up with me and love me for my quirky behavior, sweet charms, and crazy faults. lol! And that wonderful person came at a time when I was not in a position to really accept it. I know this because even today, he is one of the few people I can depend on for anything and that I can trust with things so personal.

Anyway enough about him and more about me...lol. I really think that I enjoy being single right now. I hear from nosy status Quo
Nigerians that i should be looking, I should be settling down. umm.... sorry! I dont want to look! I dont want to settle. I dont want to get weighed down with someone for the rest of my life that i will grow to love less and less and decide to hate more and more...

Id rather take time to live my life, enjoy, and let someone FIND ME!!! That person I will knwo because they will have a strong enough impact on my life to make me want to be accomodating of them, that I will want to wake up with them and love them for their own fine qualities, flaws and all! When God brings that person and I together, and only then, will you guys see me do that 180.

And I actually recommend this to all women that are not as adamant about societal goals, but are more focused on personal/professional goals, and finding completel happiness. This means, if you are the type that want to stay home and raise a family and be the best housewife, or you are the type that has career goals and wants to be an entreprenurual woman, etc, then you better FIND A MAN THAT FITS THAT GOAL!!!!!

you cant get with a man that wants you to stay at home if you are an out and about type. You cant sit in the house and sew baby clothes for your children if you have a husband that expects the wife to be as professionally active as he is.
I know people say love conquers all, but sometimes differences in future goals conquers love. I mean, look at the divorce rate. I really think people need to think about what they themselves want in life and how they can achieve that, and they should be very open about it and let people know that that is what they want and that they are looking for someone who whats that too!

Be honest upfront! if you are honest upfront, and you both realize that you are headed in the same direction from jump, then you can get to know if the rest fits (rest meaning personality traits, and of course physical is what you see first, etc) adn if they are the one you should get into a relationship with.

I am of the "Love grows" camp. And like a flower, the only way it can flourish is if you have the proper environment. This proper environment is commong goals, common morals, etc. not neccesarily common interests, because over time, you two will introduce eachother to new and different tihngs and help eachother grow more knowledgeable about the world. I do believe there should be common faith... because you two should help eachother grown strong in your faith, whatever it is. I believe I need a God-fearing man to be with because through faith is how we will make it through the rough patches.

But common goals means that through those rough patches, we are headed in the same directions, runnign same pace, not hindering eachother.

I also ... my own personal thing, like a man I can look up to.. physically, mentally, and personally. I love someone that I can be prouI too get inspired to be the best I can be because he tried each day to be the best he can be for his family. I see that in men that are responsible, and take responsibility for their actions, their family, and work related affairs.

I dont know really if any of this will be helpful to someone, or annoy someone, but it has been theraputic for me. It has really let me release like I'm talking to friend about it. Anyway enough rambling... time for bed. Goodnight future love of my life as you are out there someowhere. May God continue to bless you in all you do and protect you as you continue to move forward and as you continue to make yourself worth for my. He will guide you as you search for me, and He will continue to work in me to make me a worthy wife for you! In Jesus name I pray! Amen!

lol

MNIA Pageant

OMG so I've been super busy with the Miss Nigeria In America pageant. It was a lot of hard work, time and money. Nonetheless, it was an amazing event. Last minute I had to prep all my stuff and still get school stuff ready because school had started. I was so stressed with my dress, hair, etc and I didnt know what to expect when I got to LA.

I flew to LA on tuesday night. It was a good flight. I was the second to last person to get to the hotel and I met the MNIA intern Princess. She is sister to one of the MNIA coordinators (Queen). Isnt that cute? Princess, Queen and I heard they have a brother named King. Hehehe. I love it!.

Anyway I met my roommate, we hit it off right away. I unpacked everything and got ready for the the next day.

Later that night, my friend Repru took me out in LA. She took me to this place called berri's. it was nice. it's open late and has amazing food. Ja Rule was there. He was looking a little Area Tout-like...lol but cant knock his celeb.

The next day was intense. We had a photo shoot for the pageant. All the girls really brought it! We were all fierce!!!
I really got to meet all the girls @ the photo shoot. They were all so nice, different, unique and awesome.

Photo shot pics coming soon

Later that night was practive for Project WE fashion show. We walked our legs off!!! really burned a hole in the floor with those heels. Our instructor was Ibiba. Who Miss Ekiti in America 2009 playfully named 'BOYOYO' lol why? because he's a 'boy' o yo. lol u dont get it? i dont get it either, but we'll roll with that.

Anyway turns out Ibiba was the first person to teach me how to walk. I totally didnt recognize him. But he was the coach for the Danick Inc fashion shows in DC. I was all but 18 or 19 years of age. small girl! It was good reminiscing about that with him too, But i realized that my past is not as clear in my mind as i thought it was. many things I do not remember. i guess each of us remember differently. I might remember how a person looked, but you might remember what a person did. so interesting

Anyway next day was a tour of LA!!!! I went to see MJs Star. LA is full of weird people. I loved seeing LA, but LA people are a little weird!!! My partner in crime in LA was Miss Abuja in America 2009! We had a blast!!!! We chilled with Samuel L jackson. lol you have to see the pics to understand.

Anyway later we went to see the mayor of Torrence. He was so cool. He was presented with a plaque by MNIA and we all receiced a coin of the city. Each girl did a great job in explaining why it is important for the Nigerian-American community to make an impact in nigeria and here in our current home and what steps could be done to further causes that we see as important

afterwards we practiced for the fashion show and pageant. We also fit for fashion show outfits. We were so tired.

Anyway Friday was the day of the fashion show. We woke so early to get ready. We practiced and practiced for both the show and the pageant. It was really a lot of work. We then went over to the venue for the fashion show. Its amazing to see things put together from the begining. The MNIA crew really did a great job.
The Project WE benefit was executed perfectly, but I was so dissapointed by the little turnout. Nigerians need to support one another, and causes that will better Nigerians. With so many Nigerians in the LA area, there should have been a lot of support. I think it's selfish of Nigerians to not donate money to causes like project WE. Especiall for Nigerian Women who this cause most greatly benefits.

Anyway back to the Pageant. Friday was also the night T and D flew in. My mom and Sis flew in too!!!! They came to the show as well. They really hit it off with all the people there. People just gravitated towards them.

N came later that night. Let me recap the sitiation with N because it will be pertinent for the discussion of N's role in my weekend later on. N is a person I thought of as a friend. N is my designer, N is someone I like to confide in. I invited N to LA to be there, get contacts, help me back stage, and because I wanted to show N that I appreciate her help. Mind you, I pay N for every outfit N makes for me, so I really dont owe N anything.

Anyway I asked N to come to LA with me and paid her airfare. N is part of a 9 dollar fare club and suggested Spirit airlines. usually spirit is not in my vocab. So i buy N her ticket and take care of her hotel.
She comes to LA, she makes it to the fashion show. late but hey better late than never. I introduced her to everyone in hopes to help her network and get clients or collaborations. She is my friend, so If I succeed, I want her to reap benefits too. Same with T and D. I am happy that D also mingled and made a lot of contacts and met people who want him to style.
All in all Friday at the Project WE fashion show was great

Staurday we woke early to go straight to the venue for the pageant. We did a rehearsal and it was the first time for us to see eachothers talents. each girl was so creative!!!!

I realized that my mom forgot to bring my prop for my traditional outfit, but with the unconditional love a mother has for a child, my mother went out of her way to search all over LA for my prop and also get props for other segments in the pageant. I love you mommy... She is the GREATEST! I really wanna thank my sis, T and D for their help too. they really put up with me and went above and beyond for me too.

Anyway T brings N to the show early to be my helper for the show. N actually does a good job with it. for the show, I was always the first to get dressed and was never late for any of my segments.

I really think I wowed them with my gown, bathing suit, suit, trad, and talent but i'm biased.

I was so surprised when I made it to the top 5! By the time I got to the top 2, I was in shock. When they called my name for 1st runner up however, i was a bag of mixed emotions. I was so sad that I didnt win, but so happy and excited for Claret that she won. I really know how much each of us have worked hard to get to where we were and I couldnt help but be overjoyed for her! Its so weird to feel all that together. It's like runnign a race against ur sister or best friend. I now know how venus and serena feel when they play against eachother. I felt just like that. a lit sad for myself, but please that I came so far, and happy for my MNIA sister Claret.

Anyway after the show was great. I took a lot of pictures with people. so many people commented on my dress and how well I did. I was pleased. I also took time to introduce N as the person who made my dress. I love introducing people and making connections. It makes me feel great.
After the show, after we packed up and were getting into the van for the pageant, N started acting funny. I dont know why tho that N was getting all depressive. It was time to be in a good mood and celebrate. especiall since I have not gotten to see LA that much and since it is my first night out on the town in LA. But at some point before I got dressed to go to the after party, N start deciding she doesnt Want to go. That sort of atittude is contageous, by the time I get dressed, I catch that depressive vibe too and start not liking my outfit. bleh i hate that feeling.

Anyway we get over all that and go for a night out,. We go to the after party which was cool and then to Berri's for pizza. their pizza is so amazing.

Anyway next day T, D, My mom, and sis leave for home. I didnt want them to go. My time in LA with them was so short. I miss my mommy and sis already.

N later in the day comes to my hotel so we can check out and hang out. we had fun. We hung with the MNIA organizers, we watched Claret in her first official photo shoot as Miss MNIA 2009. Congrats to Miss Oyo, Claret by the way for her victory and selection as Miss MNIA 2009!!!!

Anyway later my friend Repru comes to pick us up to give a driving tour of LA. Unfortuneately, we miss our flight and Spririt, being the crappy airline carrier it is doesnt give us the next flight, they just chopped our ticket. they are worse than 419! And their customer service is in INDIA. and they were so RUDE!!!. Anyway I was trying my hardest to find a solution for N and I to get back home without having to call my parents for help. When I get into a jam with a friend my motto is we have to get out together. apparently N doesnt feel the same way because N jejely booked her ticket for next morning. This is after I have paid so much for that weekend. I broke my back to pay tickets, hotel, etc. and she pretty much said 'dueces' lol. repru was shocked. even repru that i am not close with stuck by me. i slept at her place, she cooked for me. and i finally gave in to call my mom and ask for dinero! she sent me money quick into my account. Again! gotta love mothers! especially my mother!!!!

I was sort of ... no really upset at N, but repru reminded me that in these is when you learn who is down for you through thick and thin. as much as i was breaking my back and trying to see N succeed from my success, as much as I saw N as close and would want to see best for her and have her back, i realized, not everyone can do that for others. so instead of wasting evergy on this friendship, i should just leave it as is. we are cool, she sews for me, nuff said. i dont think i can ever be as close to N as I was. because it is in those situations that you know who your people are.

Man! it's good to have people! Your PEOPLE will always have your back, will always be down for you. I love my people for that! Ya'll know who you are. You know because you never stop having my back, rain, shine, success, failure, you got me! I can count you all on my one hand, but I love you all!

I wont hold it against her. I wont act differently to her, but i will just keep in the back of my mind before I try to go above and beyond for her, that she wouldnt do that for me. I will still stand by my motto tho that if i go with someone, we leave together, we get in and out together, and if i have a way out, i must find them a way out or at least care that they find themselves a way out. I think this is a key difference between the western self mentality and the the non western we mentality.

Anyway, despite all of that, I am really happy that the weekend went well. I am so pround to be 1st runner up! It is a blessing. I cant wait for next pageant either. I'm wondering, which pageant to do next. I think I am getting addicted! I just love Pageantry